Thoughts on Turning 29

Tomorrow is my birthday. Tomorrow I enter the last year of my twenties. I feel like it should be more profound. Birthdays always make me reflective, but this year feels like it came too fast. The last year has been an endless whirlwind and I’m still processing a lot of 28 and what it means to me. I feel like I’ve grown a lot in the last year of my life, but that growth hasn’t always been the most well received. I’ve spent a lot of this last year trying to listen to my boundaries and my limits, trying to say No more, focusing on self-care more. I’ve gotten myself out of some toxic environments and hurtful relationships. Change is good. But it’s also very hard. My good days of 28 have been some of the best days of my life, and my bad days have been some of the worst.

I am grateful to my twenties for making me stronger. I’ve learned a lot of beautiful lessons and have encountered some amazing people. I am grateful that I enter this final year of this decade surrounded by people who love me in a way that I am humbled and overwhelmed by constantly. And I am grateful to have had the wisdom to let go of those who did not love me.

I’ve come a long ways in my twenties. It hasn’t always been graceful, it hasn’t always been pretty, but it has made me who I am today. And I like who I am today. I am old enough now to know that I know better, while also knowing I have so much more to learn.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I would tell my twenty year old self, if I could, knowing what I know now. I don’t really believe in regret, and I think mistakes are paramount to becoming strong. If there are things I could go back and change I probably would. But should I? Either way, these are the things I would tell my twenty year old self:

-Focus more on female friendships. Boys will always be there (and all you have to do is swipe to meet them) and the boys that are there now really aren’t worth your time. You both have a lot of growing up to do. And you are missing out on some amazing women. Stop worrying about if and when you will get married, and start focusing on forming stronger relationships with the women around you. Because soon you will all be in your corners of the world and it will be much harder to connect with them. In nine years you won’t be scrolling Facebook lamenting some boy it never worked out with, you’ll be lamenting all the amazing women you had a chance to know but were to distracted to realize it.

-Take care of your injuries better. Right now you are young, but your body is going to age rapidly in your twenties. That hip flexor you pulled and still ran a 10K on, don’t do that. Rest your injuries, ice them, stretch them. You may not feel like you need it right now, but Future You needs it bad.

-Travel more. This is my main advice to college students. Travel as much as you can, as often as you can, as far as you can. Right now things like hostels and teaching English for pennies sounds like a fun time. Go adventure now. Study abroad for a whole year. Travel after you graduate. Work jobs and save all your money to go travel for months at a time. Travel more.

-Pay attention to who shows up for you, and spend more time with them. And be a better friend to them. Help your friends move, go to their shows and concerts, show up for them too. Don’t just be down for a party, be down for life.

My twenties have been incredible. I have made some amazing friendships, I found a supportive community that I still don’t know if I deserve. I made an impulsive decision to adopt a cat and it’s probably one of the best decision I have ever made. I traveled alone. I fell in love. I learned that I am a lot stronger than I ever thought I could be. And I am ready for whatever 29 has in store for me.

-Darci

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